Dear Usher,

I don’t know how Justin Timberlake could have brought sexy back. You never left. Did he save you from a 127 Hours situation that none of us knew about? If so, I will send him a nice gift basket of MP3 players loaded with music so he knows the travesty that is his last album does not qualify.

All my love-

P. S. You haven’t apologized for the other Justin yet. I’m not sure if it will help, but it’s worth a shot. You can start at anytime.

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